It can get depressing

"I don't want to live any more." That's what she said yesterday. Maybe the day before that. Maybe both of them. I don't know, it's said so often, or variations on that theme. "I want to die," is also common.
I can understand it. Maybe even empathize with it a little. For the past week I've had awful lower-back pain. Nothing is worse than low-back pain. It immobilizes you to a great extent. Now, I say nothing is worse, but imagine if not only your back hurt in that way, but several other joints in your body were hurting that way. And imagine that pain never really going away, just moving around to different joints--sometimes lessening a bit or even going away--then coming back a few hours later somewhere else.  That's what RA is like. No wonder they say, "I don't want to live any more." It would depress even the strongest person at times.

And it sometimes depresses us who care for them and love them. Not because we're tired of hearing them say things like, "I wish I were dead", but because we are nearly helpless to help them. Not entirely though. We can be listening ears. We can be their legs when they need them, or their hands. We can try and make their lives a bit easier in those times when the disease flares up. Sometimes the tendency is to get annoyed with repeated requests to fetch this or that. Getting annoyed should be avoided. The truth is, that using the joint when it's in flare mode will damage the joint further. It's a big catch-22--they need to exercise, but when in flare, can't because of the damage it will cause. That's probably part of the reason that those with RA live an average of 10-15 years less than a normal life span. So do your best to make things as good as possible for them, and avoid being annoyed as much as possible.