Last night, I suggested to Ann that I might want to go on "one more hike" before October. I'd say the look on her face was one of being crestfallen. It's not like I've spent the entire summer gone. I haven't. I went on a hike in May, nothing in June, I was gone for a three night trip in July, and an overnighter in August. The hike I'd like to do is just a day trip up to our local mountains, and I probably won't have another chance to get out until next year because I will be getting on the overtime list at work to try and pay off debt. I have a high chance of getting called in on my days off. I think that's something she's not looking forward to. The thing is, I'm not either. I'm looking towards it with dread actually, because I really need the days off.
I don't know whether I'm being selfish or not. I don't want to hurt her who so badly wanted me home that she circled my remaining days off on the calendar before I would go on the O.T. list. I guess I need to ask whether or not any particular hike is more important to me than spending time with my best friend Ann.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Found some great tips for caregivers
I found a great link today. There are many articles on RA within this site, so click around to find the various articles. The one I particularly liked was the one called Rheumatorid Arthritis: A Caregiver's Guide. And once again, I'm going to suggest to you that you read through the Rheumatoid Arthritis 101 Course. It gives a lot of info on what exactly rheumatoid arthritis is, who gets it, and what to expect.
Good to see her laugh
Laughter comes all too rarely these days. It was nice to see it as she talked with some of the women in our church meeting on Sunday. Sometimes, nothing makes me feel better than to see her being able to laugh or smile. It's not as frequent as it once was and the rarity makes it needed and special.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
It can get depressing
"I don't want to live any more." That's what she said yesterday. Maybe the day before that. Maybe both of them. I don't know, it's said so often, or variations on that theme. "I want to die," is also common.
I can understand it. Maybe even empathize with it a little. For the past week I've had awful lower-back pain. Nothing is worse than low-back pain. It immobilizes you to a great extent. Now, I say nothing is worse, but imagine if not only your back hurt in that way, but several other joints in your body were hurting that way. And imagine that pain never really going away, just moving around to different joints--sometimes lessening a bit or even going away--then coming back a few hours later somewhere else. That's what RA is like. No wonder they say, "I don't want to live any more." It would depress even the strongest person at times.
And it sometimes depresses us who care for them and love them. Not because we're tired of hearing them say things like, "I wish I were dead", but because we are nearly helpless to help them. Not entirely though. We can be listening ears. We can be their legs when they need them, or their hands. We can try and make their lives a bit easier in those times when the disease flares up. Sometimes the tendency is to get annoyed with repeated requests to fetch this or that. Getting annoyed should be avoided. The truth is, that using the joint when it's in flare mode will damage the joint further. It's a big catch-22--they need to exercise, but when in flare, can't because of the damage it will cause. That's probably part of the reason that those with RA live an average of 10-15 years less than a normal life span. So do your best to make things as good as possible for them, and avoid being annoyed as much as possible.
I can understand it. Maybe even empathize with it a little. For the past week I've had awful lower-back pain. Nothing is worse than low-back pain. It immobilizes you to a great extent. Now, I say nothing is worse, but imagine if not only your back hurt in that way, but several other joints in your body were hurting that way. And imagine that pain never really going away, just moving around to different joints--sometimes lessening a bit or even going away--then coming back a few hours later somewhere else. That's what RA is like. No wonder they say, "I don't want to live any more." It would depress even the strongest person at times.
And it sometimes depresses us who care for them and love them. Not because we're tired of hearing them say things like, "I wish I were dead", but because we are nearly helpless to help them. Not entirely though. We can be listening ears. We can be their legs when they need them, or their hands. We can try and make their lives a bit easier in those times when the disease flares up. Sometimes the tendency is to get annoyed with repeated requests to fetch this or that. Getting annoyed should be avoided. The truth is, that using the joint when it's in flare mode will damage the joint further. It's a big catch-22--they need to exercise, but when in flare, can't because of the damage it will cause. That's probably part of the reason that those with RA live an average of 10-15 years less than a normal life span. So do your best to make things as good as possible for them, and avoid being annoyed as much as possible.
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