I deal with a huge amount of frustration on a daily basis as a caregiver. Part of that involves the extra work I have to do, which keeps me from doing a lot of things that need doing around the house. For example, making dinner takes a huge chunk out of my day, and as I ponder that loss of time my frustration mounts because I can't get to fixing the lawnmower (and thus, mowing the lawn), or even getting the bathroom cleaned. I voiced my frustrations yesterday in front of Ann and she got very upset. She blames herself for my extra load, and my complaining about not being able to get it done did nothing to assuage that guilt. I've got to not get so frustrated with myself for not getting it all done, or at least, if I am frustrated, I've got to calm down and not voice it. A person with RA doesn't need the extra stress on her body of guilt, which is undeserved. She was down on herself once, calling herself terms like "useless" and "helpless". She said things like "I shouldn't even be here any more because I'm of no help to anyone." I asked her, "So do you feel the same way about the children with cancer in Primary Children's Hospital? If you don't then stop feeling that way about yourself." She helped others a lot before she got sick, and just because her ability to do so now has dwindled in some ways, doesn't mean she's of no worth.
I've got to remember to calm down my frustrations so she doesn't get that impression ever again. I think I need to follow some kind of a plan like this. And I really like this post on How to Keep Important Stuff from Slipping Through the Cracks. At any rate, getting frustrated accomplishes nothing, and in fact makes things worse. I've really got to remember that.
